We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
