listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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