I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
