We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
