I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
