I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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