we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize