My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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