I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize