she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
