We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
