Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
