Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
