We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
