What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
