take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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