my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize