new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's never too late to be topless.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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