Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
