I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
