you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
