My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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