And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
