It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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