did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize