whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
