I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
