Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
