no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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