Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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