I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
