last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think my mom watched the whole time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize