I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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