i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
