So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
