he puts the penis in happiness.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This house was built for laser tag.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
