OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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