Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize