Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
