Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
