2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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