Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
