i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
