i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
