she looked like the before picture.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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