Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
