i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
