Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
