You're my little dorito
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
