ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i think my cat just said my name.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Enjoy the penises
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
