if i can run in heels then i can drive
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
