He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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