Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize