your parents love me but you hate me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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