Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize