Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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