READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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