Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she was so not down for the gang bang
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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